Noah and his Beastial Arc, and a Big Boat
by our-lord-saviour
Summary: The floods are coming in hisrael
1. Chapter 1

"Rain's a coming," said God. 

"Why?'" asked Noah. 

"'Cause I'm an awquad fuck, that's why." 

"Ohhh, and what should I do?" 

"Build a big boat which will house two of every species of animal - and you can take your wife." 

"I would rather not." 

"Ahhhaa, you make me laugh little human."

So Noah set about building the huge boat, it will be a magnificent vehicle when finished. But Noah had a long way to go, he saved time by masturbating in bed rather than initiating the act of love with his rather saggy wife. This meant he could get up earlier with much more energy to build the arc. It took him five long months before it was finally finished and Noah realised that God could have used his black magic to conjure the boat but it was too late to apply such a request to the big guy. 

One day while gathering for the rodent population, Noah stumbled upon a clearing in the shady rainforest. And out there, in the sunlit air was stood a woman. But there was something strange about this woman. Her skin was not the same as Noah's, his sun-dried light brown skin of Egypt was in total contrast to hers. Her skin was black as the night sky itself. No light reflected off her as she slowly rose from her log-seat, Noah could see the true definition of her body. Her legs were tightly toned with no spare skin to be grabbed at. Noah's gaze slowly moved up taking in every minute detail of this forest-woman's perfect body. The abs were solid as shiny rock and her breasts round and full. One alone was enough to satisfy two perverted hands to play with. The nipples were small and perfect unlike a lot of 'dark' women these days, where often the nipple area expands further than the breast and often meet each other (much like a Venn diagram). BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW. 

She had a mistrustful look on her face, she had been told by her parents the way of the 'white' man. Noah was just puzzled because something so strange to him made him so attracted. He slowly approached the ebony beauty with caution as did she. Some sort of connection between the pair brought them face to face and her bare chest pressed tight against his. It was midday and the sun hung directly above in the clearing. A bead of sweat dripping down from the woman's neck caught Noah's eye. His stare followed the droplet running down her chest and down the thin space between her breasts. Noah was lost in a trance whilst the woman could feel something hard slowly press harder and harder against her hip. This woman could be no older than eighteen, because there was not a fault in her naked body and she had still some growing left to do by Noah's judgement.

Instinctively both pulled their heads towards one another while the 'darkie' moved her hands onto Noah's throbbing 'smithe stick'. Noah moved his shaking hands round onto her backside and squeezed. Each one of her arsecheeks now looked like a chocolate muffin with a white chocolate decoration on. Awwh it was cute. The woman pulled away from Noah and their lips separated...


	2. Chapter 2

...Noah was puzzled why she did this, but when she knelt on the foliage-covered ground - a dirty smile came across the old man's face. The woman pulled out the rigid 'Sword of Righteousness' and quickly ran her damp tongue up the shaft before plunging the enlarged head in between her sets of pearl white teeth and down into her throat. It wasn't long before her gag reflex was on the verge of kicking in with each chinfull of Noah's sweaty, hairy knackers. 

God stepped outside to have a sneaky fag on his recently renovated balcony. It had that new laminate wood flooring which entertained God for many an hour as he watched his pathetic dog skid about on it like a retard who keeps forgetting that he is wearing his wheelies. He flicked the fag down onto earth and watched it fall, it was then that something caught his ever-watchful eye ...he saw Noah in a forest clearing being sucked off by what looked like his shadow. Gods puzzled face looked something like this:  
卐_卐 

It took several minutes of perving before God realised that what he was looking at was a black woman. 

"I don't remember creating that fucked up shit" he said to himself.

It took another minute for Almighty G-Dawg to come to the conclusion that it was a ninja that had painted herself black so that she could ninja while naked. What God did not consider was FUCKING EVOLUTION. 

"Lucky bastard" moaned God as he plodded off back inside before his wife could accuse him of cheating again. 

This girl knew what she was doing because she was working up a sweat on Noah, her head was moving faster and ever so occasionally she would sink her teeth down onto Noah's throbbing shaft. Noah meanwhile had distracted himself by patting this woman's bouncy hair and found great joy in patting it repeatedly, he was so distracted that he nearly didn't realise that he was about to spread his seed down the woman's gullet! His hands gripped tight on her head as he groaned out loud, he was nearly there... But a moment before he did, the woman pulled out the tensing cock from her mouth and started pounding up and down on the lubricated head strongly to finish Noah off. He exploded sending plasma everywhere, her face, in her left eye, down her chest, over her head and onto her hair. That will be a nightmare to get out of her tight coils, mind you she would have a cool streak when it dried. The woman wiped her face and licked her hand clean before gulping. Noah stood slightly limp now and a distant smile was on his face.

"Ahhhhh..."

Before he could ask where the chocolate cake lived - she got up quickly ran over to a familiar bicycle and rode off into the darkness of the forest, until eventually all Noah could see was the bike which was quite funny actually because it looked like it was riding itself. That's when he realised that the bitch had stolen his son John's bike.  
"Why does that seem so expected of her?" Noah wondered. Of course children, we all know because she was black and that's what they do- steal shit. But how was Noah to know? Black people back then didn't have the reputation they have today.

By the time Noah had made it back to the arc, it had already begun raining. He did a head count of his family. One wife and two children. All seemed well until Noah's wife (Judy) mentioned the fact that he had three sons. 

"Oh shit! I forgot! Which one are we missing?" 

"The one with the learning difficulties." 

"Thank god for that! For a moment there I thought I had lost someone dear to me!" 

Judy looked down at her children and realised:

"Oh bollocks, the retard is here." 

The insulted child stood on the bow of the arc, with his eyes filled with tears, or at least he would have if he wasn't such a fucking sap. Instead, the halfwit was staring at two pygmy goats going rampant with each other - they were panting and screeching while humping. A smile came across the son's face and sick thoughts went into his head...

AND THAT CHILDREN IS HOW BEASTIALITY STARTED ;)


End file.
